Delayed Gratification

I am a rather excitable person.  When I decide I want to do something, I want to do it NOW. I want to decorate the entire family room and buy furniture and accessories right NOW (but that will now be delayed until the puppy is trained).  I want to be done with school right NOW. I want to landscape my entire yard all at once.  I heard about an antique store last weekend and last night I looked it up and then looked at Rob and said: "Hey, it closes in an hour and half--let's go RIGHT NOW!"  Surprisingly he said, "Okay."

So we went.  It was fun.  I wanted to buy everything, but Rob was with me and so I bought. . . nothing.

The point is, Hannah has even less patience than I do (of course, she's ten, while I have no excuse).  She inherited my need for instant gratification. . . among other things.  So when her DS died five months ago she was raring to get a new one. . . RIGHT NOW!

But, it wasn't her birthday (that had just passed), and she had other wants for Christmas (after all, she could use her dad's DS in the meantime).  She believed we should just buy her a replacement.

In our house it doesn't really work that way.  If the girls want something (and it's not Christmas or a birthday or something like that), they have to earn it. Which is why we have a point system.  They earn points for chores and homework and good behavior.  I sometimes bribe them into doing things I don't want to do with promises of loads of points--of course they are pretty smart and negotiations don't always go down as I would like.  And they can also lose points for not minding or bad behavior (and if you are Hannah you often weigh the loss of points as less horrible than actually doing the chores).

The only problem is, like I have mentioned before, the girls' appreciation for delayed satisfaction is minimal.  The board rarely sees more than seven or eight points for Signe (before she buys a polly pocket or a pack of gum), and maybe 20-25 for Hannah.

A new DS would cost her $150 (each point is a dollar).

I told her she would have to earn it. . . then I got to hear about it for MONTHS.  All the while her points were racking up.  Because while she hoped I might give in--actually she hoped Rob might give in, the accumulation of points was likely the back up plan because she worried I wouldn't LET Rob give in.

Smart girl.

And truthfully, about 80 points in (a couple months of sad eyes directed his way and not-so-subtle plugs for her cause) he very nearly did.  He took me aside and said she really should just get it.  She had worked really hard, hers had broken, and his-little-girl-should-get-whatever-his-little-girl-wanted.  He is no match for the sad eyes.

I, on the other hand, am nearly impervious.

I convinced him that it was in her best interest to learn the value of working for something.  It would make her a better, less rotten, person if we didn't give her everything.

Of course, it all nearly fell apart when Rob's mom called to tell us she was planning on buying DSis for both our girls.

We told her no.

Talk about being the bad guys!  But we persevered.

Then it was announced that the new DSiXL was coming out with a larger screen and internet capabilities.  I snatched that bonus right up:

"See Hannah, look what comes to those who wait.  If we had just bought you a replacement you would have missed out on the bigger, better DS."

She was ambivalent in her appreciation of this new development.  Plus the new DS was $40 more.  But we told her that since she was working so hard we would supply the difference if she got to 150 points.

With only one set back--when she literally said "Bag it I'm buying something!" and she spent $25 on a DS game--she made her goal.  And towards the end, she was the most compliant, helpful girl I have ever seen:

"I cleaned my room, would you like me to clean Signe's?"
"I spent an extra ten minutes practicing math--that's 40 minutes."
"Would you like a drink, can I take the dog out, do you want me to get your computer?"

Of course we also heard a lot of this:

ME: Hannah, would you run out and get the mail?
Hannah: Sure, do I get a point for doing it?

Or even:

Me: Hannah, go brush your teeth.
Hannah: Do I get a point for doing it?
Me: No, you get clean teeth--and the advantage of them not rotting and falling out. . . in which case I might use your points to pay for the dentist bill.

And I had to stop Rob's constant nonsense of giving her points for silliness like "If you tie your shoe I will give you a point." (Okay that one might not have happened but the things he offered to give her points for were equally as silly, I just can't think of an actual one just now.)

When we went to get the DS she ran ahead of us into the store.  Happiness all around.  No more nagging. Of course, there are no more offers to help around here either.

After returning home with her prize, her sister didn't want to do something I asked her to do so Hannah pipes in with:

"Signe, you better do it, you still have points to lose--I don't!"

She is at least looking on the positive side of having her board wiped clean. . .

What's the last thing you worked so hard for?