Change is a funny thing. Sometimes it is exciting, and sometimes scary, or hard. Or all three. And sometimes it is so gradual you never even notice it is happening.
I feel as though our family has been evolving in a lot of interesting ways over the past year. It feels like good things are on the horizon. That doesn't mean I don't have moments of temporary panic and doubt, but when I look at where we stand and how far we've come I can breath a little easier. In fact, sometimes a hint of giddiness creeps in.
Possibilities abound. . .
The same can be said of parenting. Some days are monumental. But mostly not. Mostly you trek along doing what you set out to do, one step at a time. Homework. Piano lessons. Housework. Volunteer. Laundry. Tae Kwon Do. Run. Make lists. Cross items off lists. Trudge along. . . But you are so close to the details of your life you often fail to see the wonderful things that are developing until you step back and take a good look at your progress--at the whole picture from your new perspective.
Last week while I was researching for a paper topic for a class I am taking I came across a study that was analyzing the effects of parental involvement on a child's success--both in school and in life. And while many factors affected how well a child performed in school, the most influential factor was the environment fostered by the parents. Specifically, the study claimed that parents who had high expectations and aspirations for their children, who read with them and to them, and who exposed their children to educational experiences (like trips to the museum or simply having books in the home), were the ones whose children most often succeeded. All of these, of course, come from actually spending time with your children, accompanied by positive reinforcement.
It all got me thinking about what we do with our children--and by we I mean "me". I certainly feel as though we have spent more time doing fun things as a family over the past six months or so. That was a conscientious decision we made last summer--to spend more time doing fun things as a family. And we have. We bought cross country skis and have gone a couple of times already, which we love. We have begun to run as a family and have signed up for our first 6K as a family (perhaps that isn't actually fun, but we pretend it is!). We have tried to maintain our tradition of Family Fun Friday, intermittent though it often is with Signe's soccer games on Friday. Nevertheless, that study had me wondering if we were doing enough. Surely we could spend more quality time together as a family. And while helping the girls with their homework and reading to and with the girls is good, I thought it might be fun to somehow combine Family Fun Friday with educational activities. Leisure and learning. Anything to combat the influx of electronic activities encroaching on our lives.
So I went online and compiled a list of local museums, theaters, nature preserves, historic places, family entertainment venues, etc. Anything and everything I thought might expose the girls to something new-- activities and places meant to be fun and broaden their perspectives. Near the bottom of the list was rock gym. Rob has been wanting to try rock wall climbing, so when I saw the gym I added it to the list. MY first choice was the Portland Museum. Rob's first choice was the rock gym.
We went to the rock gym.
Honestly, the girls were stoked and much braver than I would have suspected. We all had fun working our way to the top of the 36 foot wall. I tend to be afraid of heights. But I learned that when I have a safety rope, I only have to focus on where my hands and feet are going RIGHT NOW. Before I knew it I was at the top! When I stopped and looked back at how far I had gone, I was surprised to see how high I was. It was a whole new perspective.
Kind of like life.
We expect a lot from our girls. We push them quite a lot. I worry often about whether I am pushing them too much or not enough.
Do I invest enough quality time with them?
Have I provided good opportunities for them?
Will they be happy and well balanced?
Am I making them neurotic!?
We plod along one foot hold and hand grasp at a time, hoping we are headed to a place of progress rather than a dead end or danger. But then. . . once in a while. . .
We lean back and see how far we've come. We take in the view. We see the good. We feel the giddiness start to creep in. And we know--I know--beautiful things are happening.
Possibilities abound.
(I apologize for the crappy picture quality--I wasn't about to try taking my good camera--I clearly need to get a good quality point and shoot!)
