Too Much of a Good Thing. . . Isn't a Good Thing

I admit that I have an addictive personality.  I tend to be an all or nothing kind of girl.  Moderation is clearly not my strong point.

Luckily I have someone to set me straight and hold my hand while I try to cut back. . . my six year old.

This whole thing started back when Hannah was a baby.  I was tired.  Babies tend to do that to you.  And my husband became my supplier.  Of diet coke.  It kept me going, even though I didn't like the stuff.  But the funny thing about addictions, they grow on you.  But after years of being hooked on the stuff I realized coke didn't really like me.  So I started cheating on my diet coke with diet mountain dew--you can't expect a girl to dump one before she's got another set up to take it's place, can you?

So, happy day, I dumped that diet coke. . . and started seeing diet dew.  It was a rocky relationship.  I tried to assert my independence a number of times, but there was something about him that kept me coming back for more.  He was so tempting Signe had to get in on the action and pretty soon I found I was sharing my dew as often as not.

Then after I resolved to dump the dew for good. . . again.  I started looking for a replacement.  This got Signe all nervous.  One morning last week as I poured myself a diet dew she eyed it nervously then looked at me out of the corner of her eye.

"I thought you said you were going to quit." She said. I can't help but wonder if she wanted him all to herself.

"I know.  I should.  Do you think I should?" I asked her as she eyed the cool refreshing dew splashing over ice cubes.

"Weeeelll," she drew out the word as though trying to consider. "If you quit then I have to quit." Clearly this was bad.  Then her eyes lit up and she straightened up as an idea struck her.  "How about we just drink less. You know, like one day we have some then one day we don't and another day we don't and then the next day we have some?  How about that?" She grinned, her persuasive little face beaming up at me.

Moderation.  She was suggesting I employ a little moderation. . . me.   It was clear I needed to pull an old bait and switch.

I tried Fresca.  No go.  So I did a little research and found out they make caffeine free diet dew.  Only you couldn't get it in my state.  But you could get it in like six places near my parents.  So I let them know one day of my dilemma and figured I would set something up with diet dew's nicer brother next time I visited them, because in the end it really did turn out that diet dew wasn't all he was cracked up to be. . . or at least, he didn't like me half as much as I like him.

Well, my parents got behind the idea and came to visit toting a couple packs of caffeine free diet dew.

I like caffeine free diet dew.  But I still have let go entirely of my diet dew. Suddenly moderation just got a whole lot easier. . . unless you consider the fact that I am now two timing him.  Remember that addictive personality stuff?  I will have to phase him out slowly.  It really is best for everyone that way. . . even Signe.