Flying at The Speed of Light. . . And Pausing to Appreciate it

Writer's Workshop with Mama Kat

. . . because apparently I need a kick restart.

Prompt:  3.) Married? Tell us the story of how the question was popped.



It's mid November.  I swear it was just summer!  Apparently we are doing so much living these days that I can't seem to find time to document the process.  My pictures are back logged and great posts are going unwritten.  Take my anniversary, for instance.  It was July 26th.  I believe we were en route from Idaho to Utah that day, in the midst of our ten day summer vacation that encompassed three destinations including friends, family, and a family reunion.

14 years.

While rummaging through a couple of old journals the other day, looking for stuff about a high school boyfriend that I planned to use for an assignment in my Young Adult Literature class, I came across the entries about meeting Rob.  Seriously! How I thought I was so mature is beyond me.  I was 18.  And it was my journal--you are allowed to be self-absorbed when writing in your journal right?

I met Rob while attending Boise State University.  We were both studying and started talking.  I had been broken up with my high school boyfriend for all of two weeks.  I was a freshman, he was senior.  At the time I thought little of it.  I left and went about my merry business.

Okay.  To be honest, I do remember one thing.  He had this habit of raising one brow up when he was speaking that I thought was cute.

Rob, on the other hand, found out everything he could about me, and came back to that exact place to study every day in hopes that I would return.  I only went to that place once a week.  The following week he was there.  We chatted.  He lent me his abnormal psych book with his class schedule tucked inside.  His subtle attempt to win me over with his brainiac classes was lost on me.  I never really looked at it.

A few days later I arrived at school in a downpour.  As I rushed in from the parking lot I bumped into Rob coming up the sidewalk.  What seemed a lucky coincidence I would later find out was totally contrived.  He had stood in the rain for half an hour waiting for me to arrive so he could "bump" into me. I promised to meet him after school to return his book and hurried off to math.

After class I met him and he introduced me to his cousin, Jackie.  Two hours later I told him I had to get going and that if he planned on asking me out he'd better get to it.  He asked me out. . .

That was early November.  By Christmas we had a trip to Disneyland planned for January.  By the time we took the trip Rob was hinting at his intention to marry me and my mom was rooting for a proposal by Valentine's Day.

I mentioned I was 18 right.  I'd known him less than three months at this point.

I did not get a Valentine's Day proposal.  But by this time we had been looking at rings, so I knew it was coming.

After school on March 5th, Rob and I went to Dairy Queen for ice cream.  We often stopped there on our way home after school.  Rob walked me to my car and as I got in he knelt down beside my door.

Yes.  We are now in the Dairy Queen parking lot.

He pulled out the ring and proposed.  All I could think was, "You can't propose in the Dairy Queen parking lot! People will want to know how you asked me! In a parking lot?!"

Of course I said "Yes!"

Then I asked him what he was thinking, proposing in a fast food parking lot.

Turns out he had a grand scheme to propose on my birthday, March 9th.  But then he decided he couldn't wait another week, so he planned this big deal at a park with a romantic picnic and a special book.  But when he went to pick up the ring, they had mounted the wrong diamond.  He had to come back the next day to pick it up.

Plans ruined.

So the next day he got the ring.  Apparently it  was burning a hole in his pocket--hence the parking lot proposal. Even now, once he decides to do something, look out.  He did present the book, though.  He had gotten a copy of the children's book "Guess How Much I Love You?" by Sam Mcbratney.  Only he replaced the mama bunny and the baby bunny with our names.  He loved me.  A LOT.  And despite the location of the proposal, the feeling was mutual.

And we lived happily ever after. . . .

Well, we're working on it.  
Here's what I have learned from 14 years of marriage:

1. It's a miracle we have such a fabulous relationship even still considering how young we were and how quickly we got engaged, or maybe it's simply the result of us not being old enough to be set in our ways so we grew up together.

2. If one of my daughters decides to get engaged at 18 and married at 19 I will lock her in her room for 5 years.

3. Getting an education after getting married and having children is doable, but way more work than doing it the other way around.

4. Life never works out quite like you planned it, but what you get out of life is in direct proportion to what you put into it.

5. How you are proposed to isn't half as important as how you are treated on a daily basis, but it was an accurate representation of how romantic our marriage would be--at least in grand romantic gestures.  But love is really about remembering to put gas in my car for me, and less about grand declarations.

6. Every girl occasionally wants a grand declaration!

7. #4 applies equally to marriage.  So in answer to #6, every girl should occasionally perform her own grand declaration.

8.  Children are a fabulous blessing, and family date nights are essential, but they shouldn't replace ACTUAL date night.  Nothing beats dressing up and going out like giddy young love birds.

9. Men and women both need similar things from a relationship, but that doesn't mean they get it the same way, or give it the same way.  Hence the full gas tank instead of flowers or flowery words.  [Note to self: Do something practical and productive for Rob--he'll appreciate it more than any grand declaration.]

10.  I am one lucky girl who loves her husband more today than the day she married him (not surprising since she'd known him all of 9 months at the time), and is unequivocally adored in return!