Arming them with knowledge

A funny thing happens when you become a parent.  You learn how to worry about someone else more than yourself.  It becomes a fine balance between protecting your children and teaching them to take care of themselves.  I think as a father, it must be so much harder to deal with when your kids are girls.  The father-daughter relationship is certainly a unique one.  Since we have only two girls it often leaves me as the disciplinarian for the simple reason Rob has a hard time telling his girls no.  He has been known to say, and I quote, "Anything for my girls!"  Granted, when that statement includes me (as it often does) I like hearing it.  But when I see it creating spoiled girls who would take their father's last bite of dessert out of his mouth, I worry.  Nobody wants their children to suffer, but on the flip side, we don't want them to be selfish and self-centered without a care for others either.

I think my girls are pretty balanced, but the big worries are still in our future: the teenage years.  Hannah is fast approaching 12. . . then 13.  Signe may be four years behind her, but with an older sister to teach her, she is a fast learner.  Rob and I have often discussed how to create just the right balance that will give our girls confidence to know their worth and not make choices based on insecurity and lack of self worth.  Some days I vote for Rob's suggested method:  Make them snobs so they think they are too good for all the unworthy boys.  Of course, we don't get to dictate who they think is worthy or unworthy, and that plan could have unwanted side effects. . . like snobby daughters.

So instead, we encourage them to pursue sports and activities that they like and will excel at, in hopes that they will feel important, and know their own value.  We praise them for their good work, remind them we love them often, and make them work hard for their rewards, so they don't take things for granted.

But in the end, it will be hard to send off our beautiful daughters into the world where we can't be their constant protection.  Because even confident, well rounded, beautiful, smart girls can find themselves in bad situations. . . so we are stacking the deck in our favor (or their favor, rather).

We signed them up for Taekwondo.

And while I admit it is rather disturbing when the instructor says things like, "You want to be sure to strike them in the proper place on their inner thigh to crush their artery." or "Once you have pushed them to the ground and broken their wrist, securing the knife, carve your initials in their chest."  It is also rather reassuring to see my seven year old take down a stranger who comes up behind her and grabs her by the hair, or know how to react when someone tries to abduct her.

Signe during her novice test

Plus, as an added bonus, they are getting a good physical workout, learning self discipline, and gaining personal confidence.  A win win. . . win, win.  

Part of the endurance test

All the white belt and yellow belt students holding horseback stance while being grilled on their  terms and definitions

Holding horseback stance while waiting to perform their novice test

We figure we have covered our bases. We want our girls to be beautiful, smart, accomplished, confident, talented enough to play the Brandenburg Concerto one moment. . . and skilled enough to take out a possible threat to their safety in the next.  Really, it makes it easier to sleep at night.

Last Wednesday they passed their first test to gain their white belt.  It was three hours long.  Part physical endurance (which was hard enough to watch--if I had been the one doing it I might have wept!), part memorization or terms, part performance of the novice moves, and part board breaking--which is really more mental strength than physical.  Here are the videos of each of their board breaks:

Signe

Hannah