. . .is one of the first questions a lot of people ask when meeting someone for the first time--or at least early on in their acquaintance. My problem is, saying "I am a stay at home mom" doesn't really scratch the surface. It certainly doesn't do anything to elucidate what I do--or what so many other SAHMs do. But what people usually hear is "I don't work." Which may be why I feel inclined to defend my worth. Believe me, I WORK. I have written before about how you need paper validation in this world to be taken seriously--diploma, award, publication, pay check. Maybe that is because those things make what you "DO" so much easier to comprehend. The degree of variation in SAHMs is great, and the work is constant--whatever it may be.
I often tell my husband he couldn't afford to replace me. I do a lot of different things. You have heard them all before: cook, taxi, maid, seamstress, gardener, historian, teacher--plus the stuff I do for fun, but which aid the family in non-monetary ways--writer, photographer, house decorator (it makes a more peaceful, organized home!). Not to mention church callings and being a student. Despite my need to defend my value, I take pride in my efforts--in my position as household manager, if you will.
But you know what? I recently assessed the quality of my work as "household manager", and guess what--if I was my own boss, I'd probably fire myself. Sure I keep busy and work hard, but I rarely finish anything, meals are hit and miss, the laundry piles up more often than not, the house is rarely really clean, I don't spend near enough time helping my kids with their school work, or reading to them.
Sooo, I decided if I was going to defend my job as a SAHM, I had better DO my job--and do it well. So I have resolved to take it more seriously. Since I have started looking at my "job" as more of a "job" (one with a high level of expectation and consequence) I have worked harder and minded the work less. Weird, I know.
Maybe it's the title. . . it makes me feel important.
Household Manager--it has a nice ring, don't you think? And since I just did a thorough job exposing my less than stellar performance thus far, I had better not get myself fired!
1 comment:
I like this idea. Now that you mention it, I have the same problem. I am always working at something, but a lot of times things never really quite get done, things don't run as smoothly as I'd like, etc. I have a vision of how I'd like life to go, but it rarely happens. Now's a good time to re-commit.
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