Do As I Say, Not As I Do. . .

I remember when, before I had any kids, I would see children acting out in public, or children that were unkempt, or just not motivated, and I would think about what my kids would and wouldn't do, and how they would be, and what they would like. That's all fine and good, a plan is important--though I have learned that to make a plan is to invite the universe to laugh at you, at least when it comes to planning your children (births, behaviors, or otherwise).

But there is always one big thing to take into consideration when molding your children. . . the mold. By that I mean you. I am known for throwing little phrases at my children (and husband occasionally) that are meant to stick long enough to have an impact. For instance, "An orderly home is a reflection of and orderly life," (when trying to get my kids to clean) or "Be a victor not a victim!" when my kids are feeling picked on, or, my husband's favorite, "Happy wife, happy life!" (which Rob heard Dave Ramsey say to a listener one time, much to his chagrin--particularly since it was while we were doing our kitchen remodel and the caller was a guy whose wife wanted to do a kitchen remodel while he wanted to invest the money. . . but I digress).

All the words in the world, however, don't quite have the same impact as what we DO. Let me give you a prime example. . .or two:

Case Number 1 -- "Do as I do"

The Scene: Our Yard

The Task: To weed the garden and pull out some dead bushes

The Characters: Rob, Hannah

The Goal: To make our yard pretty and teach our daughter to work

Hannah (after putting in a good effort for ten or fifteen minutes): I don't want to do it any more.

Rob: Is the job done?

Hannah: It's hot. I worked really hard already.

Rob: You have been working hard, but the job isn't done. When you grow up you can't just quit before the job is done because you don't want to do it anymore.

Hannah: Really? You mean like the half planked ceiling, and the half finished tree house, and the half painted living room, and the half finished garden boxes. . .

I believe at this point we cut her off, because really, with the material she had to work with she could have gone on a while! We went on to explain that we are trying to make her better than us, and that those projects were still in progress--we hadn't actually "quit" working on them, per say. Then we finished up by telling her to do as we say, not as we do, or something along those lines.

Case Number 2 -- "Say as I say"

The Scene: The car--outside a gas station

The Task: To get a fountain drink

The Characters: Rob, Signe

The Goal: To avoid buying a zillion snacks or slushies

Signe: Are we coming in too?

Rob: No, wait in the car.

Signe: But I want you to get me a . . . (at this point Rob has exited the car and shut his door, thus ending the conversation)

Signe (Indignantly): He just shut the door while I was talking--that was certainly uncalled for!

Apparently you can add "That was certainly uncalled for" to my list of phrases. (And judging by how often I hear Hannah saying "That was highly inappropriate," you can probably add that one too!) I was still laughing when Rob got back in the car.

Have your kids followed your example lately?