Guilty Freedom

After a short, but enjoyable weekend between semesters, summer semester started on Monday. . .without me.  I had a husband induced epiphany.  Due to a combination of not getting all my classes and the chance I would either have to be at the school everyday next fall (with a kindergartner to worry about) or take classes in the spring--delaying my graduation until May instead of December, and causing me to pay for three semesters instead of two--and a confession from Rob, I cancelled by summer classes.  

The confession was the best part.  It went something like this:

"I miss having a clean organized house.  It's been chaos--you hold this family together more than I gave you credit for."

In case you didn't sense it, that statement gave me great satisfaction--never mind that it also implies that during the semester I wasn't holding it all together.  At least not the house.  I was taking five classes and I don't do things half way, which was reflected in my five A's. . . and my messy house.

So when Rob suggested maybe I should take the summer off and spend time with the family (and the house, and the neglected projects. . .) it took me 24 hours to stress about it before I dropped my classes.  I realized that I will be spending the next two summers in school during the masters program (which I would start next June regardless of whether I took summer off or spring off) so I feel better about not going this summer.  

I am torn between feeling guilty, like I quit (though I am still heavily enrolled for fall) and gloriously free.  Oh sweet freedom--you never appreciate it until you don't have it.

You should see my project list. . . and my summer fun plans. . . and my nearly clean house . . .and my empty laundry room. . .Oh, and the blog post ideas. . . and my writing schedule of things I WANT to write . . . and books! fabulous, frivolous summer read books I plan to read. . .

Yes, freedom and I get along just fine.

What do you plan to do with your summer?